Top 10 Worst Ways to Break Cancer Diagnosis News to Your Family

Don't worry, I haven't lost my mind. This is me flying my middle finger at cancer! Whoot, Whoot!

#10: Wear an "I've Got Cancer" t-shirt around the house.

#9:   Using overly intricate (and thoroughly confusing) means:
        -Spouse: Honey, you don't look so well. Are you feeling alright?
        -Response: Well, if by 'are' you mean 'do', and if by 'feeling' you mean            
         'have' and if by 'alright' you mean 'cancer', then the answer is yes, I                
         most certainly do.

#8:   The Relativity Approach:
        "Well honey, I got fired from my job for sleeping with the cleaning                  
         lady, who apparently gave me HIV. You should get yourself checked               
         out ASAP. Ha ha, just kidding about that...by the way, I have cancer.

#7:   On the Jumbotron at a sporting event.  (what the heck is a Jumbotron?)

#6:   Through clever subtleties:
        Spouse: Do you have Billy's basketball schedule for next week?
        Response: I'll tell ya what I don't have...the ability to properly regulate         
         cell growth and proliferation anymore.

#5:   "Alright everybody, raise your hand if you DON'T have cancer."           
                (raising your hand at first, then slowly dropping it as everyone watches)

#4:   Make your family play connect the dots with your twisted logic:
        "Ya know, I was thinking about what a horrible disease that cancer is            
         and how Fate must really hate someone to inflict such a horrible curse           
         on them.  Well, apparently Fate hates me."

#3:   Via text message. ( omg! ive gt cancer. not kewl. ) oops..did that one..sorry Dawn.

#2:   Vanity license plates:  [2MR GUY], [KEMO GAL], [CNCR SUX],[CNCR FITR]


And the #1 worst way to break cancer diagnosis news to your family:

"Knock-knock" ... "who's there?" ... "I have cancer."  Um..okay?

These Top 10 funnies found at:http://www.cancerisnotfunny.com/top10worstwaytobreakthenews.html