Practice what you preach. Speak to others as you wish to be spoken to. Aren't those wonderful parenting mantras? How many of us do that as often as we should?
I was reminded of this the other day while rushing to get my daughter off to school on time. I said something harsh about her eye make-up. Instead of telling her how lovely her eyes are naturally and that they don’t need that much make-up, I bull-dozed her confidence by commenting how dark the mascara looked. She was crushed and looked out the window in silence the rest of the way to school.
I felt sick all afternoon until I had the chance to apologize to her after school. I bombed in parenting 101, a plane engulfed in flames turning to ash. I should have focused my mind on saying something with a positive spin rather than a destructive one. My agenda self was irritated with her for spending so much time on her eye make-up (at least twenty minutes every morning).
There was a happy ending. I swallowed my pride and apologized. Never one to NOT speak her mind, my daughter said how angry and hurt she felt by the comment, but was pleased that I recognized how my words affected her. I want my kids to know that parenting is a work in progress and being tactful can often be a life-long learning experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment